Blackberry Test Post

If this works, I'll have something to do during meetings that will
make me look busy and important.

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

Blackberry Test Post

If this works, I'll have something to do during meetings that will
make me look busy and important.

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

Happy New Year! You're Fired.

A group of us went out for dim sum today to celebrate the lunar new year. The group consisted of two partners, five associates, and two secretaries. I sat next to one of the partners, because, well, that's how I roll.

As soon as we sat down, we started getting ready, pouring tea for everyone, placing our napkins in our laps, picking up our chopsticks, checking out the carts, and so on. They had a nice assortment of hot sauce, hot mustard, and soy sauce at the table, and as the sauce tray went around, some of the Asians started teasing the pale, round-eyed folks about whether they could handle the hot sauce.

"You sure you can take that? By they way, are you going to need a fork too?"

"Oooh, that sauce is really hot. Watch out, it'll burn your pale flesh."

You know, crap like that.

The partner sitting next to me - a very decent, austere, proper, politically-correct, serious, well-respected, brilliant lawyer - smiled grimly and cleared his throat. At which point, I figured I was dead, because let's face it, I was the one doing most of the trash talking.

But, Mr. Partner ignored my childishness and started to tell a story in his well-spoken, authoritative, and precisely-enunciated manner.

"You know, speaking of hot things, my wife the other day was heading out to go..."

At which point, I couldn't help myself. I just had to do it. I immediately jumped in and stopped him. I felt eight pairs of eyes burning into me. Looks of horror. How the hell could this dumb first-year associate dare interrupt a senior partner?

I opened my mouth and blurted out, "Mr. Partner! Um...you just said 'speaking of hot things...my WIFE...'"

Everyone stared. In that second, I saw my life flash before my eyes. I was pretty sure I'd be fired before lunch ended.

But then EVERYONE busted up laughing, including Mr. Partner. I think his face turned a little red too. The associate next to me suggested that perhaps I was a bit too junior to be making such comments. I immediately apologized to Mr. Partner, and he was totally cool about it. When he was done laughing, he immediately quipped to his secretary, "Make sure you tell my wife that I said that."

I love the partners at my firm.

But I still think I'm getting fired.

Billable Hours

It's 5:20am, and I'm already at the office. What the hell am I doing here?

Well, first of all, I couldn't sleep last night. I woke up at around 1:45am and could not fall back asleep. So I lay in bed for a while, got up to get some water, and then decided to hook up my xbox again and play some guitar hero. I made my way through the first 8 songs on expert level, and then realized I was just wasting time. Might as well get to the office early and try to catch up on my pathetic billables.

We're supposed to bill a minimum of 1900 hours a year. Assuming that we take some vacation time, it works out to roughly 40 hours a week that we should be billing, or 8 hours a day. Last week, I was in the office about 13-14 hours per day. Somehow, I wasn't ever able to bill more than 7 hours each day. I guess you could say that I've been distracted. My hours for January are pretty damn awful. I didn't even break 100. Yes, I was gone for a week and there were two holidays, but still. Geez. Not even a hundred?!?!

These guys are gonna fire me any day now.

So now I have 11 months to bill 1800 hours. Other associates are telling me not to worry about it, because the work will come in and I'll be billing like mad. Unfortunately, my problem isn't a lack of work. I've actually got enough shit on my plate to bill 10 hours a day. I just can't focus for that long. Maybe I need ritalin or something. Anyone know what the symptoms of A.D.D. are so I can trick a shrink into prescribing some pills? I'd research it myself on the internet, but unfortunately, I have to go bill now.

UPDATE 10:35am: I am a frigging billing machine!!! 4.6 hours so far.