Touching poo with bare hands (Part 1)
Episode 1
This tale begins almost 30 years ago. It's early in the evening, upstairs in the home of a young family. Picture two of the children - a girl and a boy - playing together in the tub with their bath toys. They're splashing around having a great time without a care in the world. Suddenly, the little girl stops playing, squats in the water, and begins to concentrate. Within seconds the boy has jumped up and is screaming.
"It's ok, it's ok," pleads the girl. She doesn't want to get into trouble, even though she's not sure she's done anything wrong. She's thinking.
Normally, poo goes in the toilet. The toilet is full of water. The bathtub is also full of water. So isn't it ok for poo to go in the bathtub?
Perhaps her logic is flawed somehow. Her brother's actions strongly suggest that she has made a mistake.
Ah-ha! I know what to do.
"Don't worry," says the girl, beginning to be frightened by her brother's reaction. "It's not that big. I'll get rid of it."
She reaches and picks up the big, brown shark with one hand. The boy is standing in the tub, looking horrified, and is scrambling to get out.
Meanwhile, she's still standing in the water. The water is still warm. She doesn't want to get out, but she needs to get rid of the offending intruder. She leans over, holding brown boy in her right hand. "See? No big deal," she says to her brother as she casually tosses the item in the toilet.
She misses.
It lands with a thud on the carpet. (Who the hell puts CARPET in the bathroom? The 70s were a strange time.)
By now, the boy is out of the tub and has grabbed his towel and is making a bolt for the door.
The girl dutifully climbs out of the tub to clean up her mess. She tries once more to convince her brother to stay and finish the bath, but he's determined to leave. She picks up the log, drops it in the toilet, and flushes.
The boy makes his exit shouting for mommy. She watches him leave, shrugs, and then climbs back into the tub to wash her hands and finish her bath. After all, the water is still warm and there are still bubbles left.
Episode 2
Coming soon...
This tale begins almost 30 years ago. It's early in the evening, upstairs in the home of a young family. Picture two of the children - a girl and a boy - playing together in the tub with their bath toys. They're splashing around having a great time without a care in the world. Suddenly, the little girl stops playing, squats in the water, and begins to concentrate. Within seconds the boy has jumped up and is screaming.
"It's ok, it's ok," pleads the girl. She doesn't want to get into trouble, even though she's not sure she's done anything wrong. She's thinking.
Normally, poo goes in the toilet. The toilet is full of water. The bathtub is also full of water. So isn't it ok for poo to go in the bathtub?
Perhaps her logic is flawed somehow. Her brother's actions strongly suggest that she has made a mistake.
Ah-ha! I know what to do.
"Don't worry," says the girl, beginning to be frightened by her brother's reaction. "It's not that big. I'll get rid of it."
She reaches and picks up the big, brown shark with one hand. The boy is standing in the tub, looking horrified, and is scrambling to get out.
Meanwhile, she's still standing in the water. The water is still warm. She doesn't want to get out, but she needs to get rid of the offending intruder. She leans over, holding brown boy in her right hand. "See? No big deal," she says to her brother as she casually tosses the item in the toilet.
She misses.
It lands with a thud on the carpet. (Who the hell puts CARPET in the bathroom? The 70s were a strange time.)
By now, the boy is out of the tub and has grabbed his towel and is making a bolt for the door.
The girl dutifully climbs out of the tub to clean up her mess. She tries once more to convince her brother to stay and finish the bath, but he's determined to leave. She picks up the log, drops it in the toilet, and flushes.
The boy makes his exit shouting for mommy. She watches him leave, shrugs, and then climbs back into the tub to wash her hands and finish her bath. After all, the water is still warm and there are still bubbles left.
Episode 2
Coming soon...
posted by Jacqueline A. Whole at
12:38 AM
6 Comments:
even though i have to pick up poop everyday, you win with the bare hands thing. this is hilarious.
can't wait till episode 2!
Wow. This brings up several more uncomfortable memories for me. And now you wonder why I used to pee on the shower door....
i love reading stories of when my friends were young...and now 30 yrs later you are also helping me bust my gut laughing. high. larious.
bigh brutha used to pee on the bathroom door?!?!! gross yo.
Grody!
I thought the other main character was somebody else. Or did I possibly leak a spoiler?
Boy, siblings have a way of teaching you pragmatics early on...
OK, nice time for lunch, check out some blogs. Hmm - "Touching poo with bare hands" - interesting title, must be a bad chinese translation of a Winnie the Pooh children's story. Huh? What!! Oh gross, bleh, yuck. Mental note, don't read A. Whole while eating. Yeah, I should have known that.
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