Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Poo and Peter Pan

So I'm hanging out with my bestest friends EVER on the other side of the bay this weekend. They have a three year old son and a little newborn baby daughter.

I love these kids. I just met the baby for the first time, and I think she gave me the baby sign of approval. While I was holding her, she made a big explosive shizznit right in my lap. Leaked through her diaper onto her pants. Thank God not onto my jeans.

Incidentally, this is the second time that's happened to me. A couple months ago, my coworker brought his newborn son into the office. I was holding the little dude in my lap and he was just chilling out, staring at his parents who were sitting across the desk. Suddenly, all at the same time: I hear a loud ffrrbbbrroaawwwrrrbbbssshhhh, I feel the pressure of a jet engine shoot into my lap, and I smell the fragrance of baby poop. It was quite the sensory overload, and we all burst out laughing. It happened on the same day that Senator Palpatine called me up screaming on the phone. I guess it was my day to get shit on.

So anyhow, I digress. Even though it's my favorite subject, I didn't mean to talk about poop. I need help answering a 3-year-old's question. My friends' have this awesome little boy. Let's call him Helmet. I was hanging out with Helmet's family this weekend. After dinner we were going upstairs when his mom reminded him he had a question to ask me about Peter Pan.

So Helmet looks up at me with his innocent eyes full of wonder, holds up his hand and says, "Aunty Jackhole, you know Captain Hook? What was his name before he lost his hand?"

Um...

Uh...

Well...

Hmm...

Dang, I had no answer for the dude. I'm usually good at making stuff up, but this time, I think it would've been easier if he'd just taken a dump on me too.

3 Comments:

Blogger rly said...

awesome sound effects! so much imagery too!

June 25, 2008 at 12:03 AM  
Blogger Jacqueline A. Whole said...

too bad i didn't get a picture of the dijon mustard squirts in her diaper.

June 25, 2008 at 10:50 PM  
Blogger Chimster72 said...

Dude, that's an easy question to answer. His name was Captain Hand...

July 2, 2008 at 2:27 PM  

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