Crack is whack, unless it's from your mom
The following is based on a true story.
Once upon a time, there was a child who rode the bus to and from school. One day, after riding the bus home from school, the child had some trouble at the bus-stop. With a heavy backpack full of books, the child slipped while trying to step down from the bus. Arms flailing, legs slipping forward and giving way, the poor thing landed with a jolt, smack on its bottom.
The entire crowd of children on the bus witnessed the fall. Laughter ensued, much to our youngster's dismay and embarrassment. Suffering physical and emotional pain, the child bravely got up, and somehow made it back home.
Soon, Mother called to check that her child had made it home safely. Sniffling, the child answered the phone, but hearing Mother's voice brought back the tears. Through the sobs, Mother was able to piece together the fact that the child had fallen off the bus. Mother called Father, and then she rushed home from work.
Father called to let the child know that Mother was on her way. The child began sobbing again, not because of any physical pain (although it was later discovered that the tailbone was cracked), but from the embarrasment of the situation. All the kids were LAUGHING at me!!!
Soon, Mother arrived home and did everything she could to comfort her child. Hugs, words of comfort, offers of snacks...but nothing would work. The crying continued. Eventually, Mother changed out of her work clothes into her comfy home outfit, and began to do chores around the house. Father would be home soon. The child, still sniffling and inconsolable, followed Mother around the house.
Busy cleaning up, Mother bent over to put things away in a lower cabinet. As she did so, her sweatpants slipped down revealing a tiny bit of ass-cleavage. The child, standing behind Mother, observed the crack, and in true wise-ass fashion said, "DANG! I hope you don't show that to all the people at work!"
And miraculously, the child was no longer upset. All was well in the world now. Well, except now, Mother was not happy.
Once upon a time, there was a child who rode the bus to and from school. One day, after riding the bus home from school, the child had some trouble at the bus-stop. With a heavy backpack full of books, the child slipped while trying to step down from the bus. Arms flailing, legs slipping forward and giving way, the poor thing landed with a jolt, smack on its bottom.
The entire crowd of children on the bus witnessed the fall. Laughter ensued, much to our youngster's dismay and embarrassment. Suffering physical and emotional pain, the child bravely got up, and somehow made it back home.
Soon, Mother called to check that her child had made it home safely. Sniffling, the child answered the phone, but hearing Mother's voice brought back the tears. Through the sobs, Mother was able to piece together the fact that the child had fallen off the bus. Mother called Father, and then she rushed home from work.
Father called to let the child know that Mother was on her way. The child began sobbing again, not because of any physical pain (although it was later discovered that the tailbone was cracked), but from the embarrasment of the situation. All the kids were LAUGHING at me!!!
Soon, Mother arrived home and did everything she could to comfort her child. Hugs, words of comfort, offers of snacks...but nothing would work. The crying continued. Eventually, Mother changed out of her work clothes into her comfy home outfit, and began to do chores around the house. Father would be home soon. The child, still sniffling and inconsolable, followed Mother around the house.
Busy cleaning up, Mother bent over to put things away in a lower cabinet. As she did so, her sweatpants slipped down revealing a tiny bit of ass-cleavage. The child, standing behind Mother, observed the crack, and in true wise-ass fashion said, "DANG! I hope you don't show that to all the people at work!"
And miraculously, the child was no longer upset. All was well in the world now. Well, except now, Mother was not happy.
posted by Jacqueline A. Whole at
1:59 AM
3 Comments:
did you have sit on a donut?
I can neither confirm nor deny that I was present for this series of unfortunate events.
what a lawyer-ly response!
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