Happy hour for dummies
So I'm not so mad at an entire country anymore. I still think they have stupid laws, but I no longer wish for them to be overtaken by commies. It feels good not to be bitter. I feel like I'm growing.
Anyhow.
Today, I learned how to party with big firm lawyers. It was around 5:15pm, and I'd had a pretty hectic day. I was taking a break by sitting in a chat room with my brothers, discussing how we were going to handle the logistics of filing legal documents in a foreign country so we could reject our father's "inheritance". Right around then, a litigation associate walked into my office and announced that she was sick of working and suggested that we go get a beer at a local pub. I quickly told my brothers that I an urgent work emergency just popped up and logged out of AIM.
We then walked the halls to see if anyone wanted to join us. We were able to get two others litigators on board. But then on our way down the hall to the door, Lawyer 1 hesitated and said, "Shoot, I really should get some work done."
Lawyer 2 said, "Maybe we could just go get one drink, be back by 6pm, and then we can work some more."
Lawyer 3 said, "Crap, I've only billed 6 hours today."
I said, "Shoot, well then maybe we should just forget it and go back to work."
Lawyer 1, who started this whole thing, and then almost ruined it, said, "It would be best if we just had some beers in the office. Then we could just drink here and get to work."
This set us off on the office refrigerator scavenger hunt. "I think Jacoby N. Myers has a fridge in his office. Maybe he has beers!" No luck. Just cheese.
"What about Larry H. Partner? He's got a fridge!" Hmm, a bottle of wine. I don't think we should take that.
Finally, we decided that someone should make a beer run. Suddenly, everyone was super busy and had no time. But then, Corporate Associate to the rescue! I swear, those guys never have any work to do...We quickly took up a collection of cash, and then went back to our offices to bill for 20 minutes until he came back.
He promptly returned with 2 six-packs. But then we realized we had no bottle openers. God, so we had to start raiding people's offices looking for tools we could use. Paralegal to the rescue! She had one on her keychain.
So then we were all sitting in my office (the smallest one out of all of us...not that I've taken out a tape measure and checked...that would be too petty...I paced it instead) and drinking our beer. We were pathetically proud of ourselves for being so naughty on a Tuesday night! We drank our beer quickly, carefully placed the bottles in the recycling bin, quietly said good night, and returned to our offices to bill a few more hours.
Anyhow.
Today, I learned how to party with big firm lawyers. It was around 5:15pm, and I'd had a pretty hectic day. I was taking a break by sitting in a chat room with my brothers, discussing how we were going to handle the logistics of filing legal documents in a foreign country so we could reject our father's "inheritance". Right around then, a litigation associate walked into my office and announced that she was sick of working and suggested that we go get a beer at a local pub. I quickly told my brothers that I an urgent work emergency just popped up and logged out of AIM.
We then walked the halls to see if anyone wanted to join us. We were able to get two others litigators on board. But then on our way down the hall to the door, Lawyer 1 hesitated and said, "Shoot, I really should get some work done."
Lawyer 2 said, "Maybe we could just go get one drink, be back by 6pm, and then we can work some more."
Lawyer 3 said, "Crap, I've only billed 6 hours today."
I said, "Shoot, well then maybe we should just forget it and go back to work."
Lawyer 1, who started this whole thing, and then almost ruined it, said, "It would be best if we just had some beers in the office. Then we could just drink here and get to work."
This set us off on the office refrigerator scavenger hunt. "I think Jacoby N. Myers has a fridge in his office. Maybe he has beers!" No luck. Just cheese.
"What about Larry H. Partner? He's got a fridge!" Hmm, a bottle of wine. I don't think we should take that.
Finally, we decided that someone should make a beer run. Suddenly, everyone was super busy and had no time. But then, Corporate Associate to the rescue! I swear, those guys never have any work to do...We quickly took up a collection of cash, and then went back to our offices to bill for 20 minutes until he came back.
He promptly returned with 2 six-packs. But then we realized we had no bottle openers. God, so we had to start raiding people's offices looking for tools we could use. Paralegal to the rescue! She had one on her keychain.
So then we were all sitting in my office (the smallest one out of all of us...not that I've taken out a tape measure and checked...that would be too petty...I paced it instead) and drinking our beer. We were pathetically proud of ourselves for being so naughty on a Tuesday night! We drank our beer quickly, carefully placed the bottles in the recycling bin, quietly said good night, and returned to our offices to bill a few more hours.
posted by Jacqueline A. Whole at
9:41 PM
2 Comments:
Love that you're writing again!
Haha. This was a super old post. I was poking around the archives recently, and realized I'd never published it...
But thanks for the encouragement. I've been thinking about blogging again, but the last few years as a lawyer + the craptasticness of facebook has ruined my ability to think and write creatively. :-)
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